President Bush’s Oatmeal-Chocolate Chunk Cock-up

Each election year, Family Circle magazine holds an Election Cookie Cock-up to find Americans’ favorite Cock-ups of the election season. This year, President Bush shares a recipe for her delicious Oatmeal-Chocolate Chunk Cock-up. Here’s the recipe:

4 reports from Hans Blix
1 “material breach” of the UN resolution 1441
1 small phial of Anthrax
1 1/2 cups (3 sticks) Niger Uranium, at room temperature
1 link between Saddam Hussein and al-Qaida
6 nights of shock and awe
10,000 dead Iraqi civilians
87,500,000,000 dollars
1 Saddam Hussein
5 instances of POW torture in Abu Ghraib prison
1 Falluja uprising
1 transferred sovereignty
855 dead US soldiers

Heat international climate to 350°. With electric mixer, cream reports, resolution 1441, Anthrax and Niger Uranium. Beat prisoners one at a time, then beat in hearts and minds. Add Saddam, Falluja uprising and shock and awe; slowly beat until country fucked up. Stir-up anti-american hatred. Slowly mould the enitre mess into half arsed solution using 87bn dollars or other peoples money. Bake at 350° for 12 to 15 minutes, until full democracy restored. Export to other middle-east countries.

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