Tony: small, quick, dark of face and eyes, restless
Dubya: huge, shapeless, pale eyes, slow moving
Colin: stable buck, had a back injury
Sadam: Boss’ son, short, once a welterweight boxer
Rummie: jerkline skinner, local authority
Condoleezza: old swamper, missing one hand
Hot Thursday late afternoon. Tony and Dubya spend the night on a ranch, a few miles south of Crawford, Texas. They plan to start work in the UN farm the next day and dream of making enough money to get their very own farm.
Tony tells Dubya ‘The farm got a little shack on it, an’ a chicken run. Got a kitchen, orchard, cherries, apples, peaches, ‘cots, nuts, got a few berries. They’s a place for alfalfa and plenty of water to flood it. They’s a pig pen and lots and lots of rabbits’
‘I likes rabbits’ says Dubya
The next day Tony and Dubya sign up to a U.N. Security Council resolution on the U.N. farm. Sadam tries to pick a fight with Dubya. Tony reminds Dubya where to hide if there’s trouble. Dubya wants a puppie.
Tony tells Rummie, Dubya grabbed a red-dressed girl in Crawford. Dubya gets a puppie. When everyone from the Sec urity Council returns, Saddam annoys Dubya until Tony tells Dubya to “get him.” Dubya crushes Saddam’s hand. Rummie orders the media to say it was a WMD accident.
While the rest play war, Dubya kills his puppy in the barn. Saddam’s two sons Quasi and Uday show up. Dubya explains his fondness for soft things, and they encourage him to stroke thier hair. When they want him to stop he breaks their necks out of fear. Dubya does all he knows and runs and hides. Condoleezza finds Quasi and Uday and brings Tony. When the Iraqis find out Saddam goes for his WMD, but it’s missing and he assumes Dubya took it. Condoleezza stays with the bodies while all go after Dubya.
Dubya comes to a river. A huge imaginary rabbit tells him Tony will leave him. Tony shows up and reassures Dubya. Dubya asks Tony ‘Tell me like you done before’ so while they talk of their dream, Tony puts the WMD to the base of Dubya’s skull and fires. When the men see Dubya everyone assumes Tony took the WMD from him and shot him. Rummie says “You hadda, Tony,” and takes him for a drink.